Jesus and the Home Depot Kid

And yet another installment of the Big 5 (Pope John Paul II, Seinfeld, Jesus, Ed, and me)
Now, without further ado, here is the Big 5 at The Home Depot. Enjoy.

(The Big 5 enters the automatic pearly gates of the Home Depot)
Jesus: Now this is my kinda place!
Pope: Why?
Jesus: Carpenter....... hellooooo?
Seinfeld: What's the deal with lumber?
Ed: Lumber? Well....... it's a lot of wood. What were you worried about?
Kent: I gotta get out...
Jesus: Panel saw..... gotta get a panel saw.........
Ed: We have to quit bringing Jesus here..... it's like taking Joey to Walmart.
Kent: Or like taking you to a whorehouse.
Pope: Ouch. You guys gotta be nice to each other. Want some alcohol?
Kent: I'm Baptist...... I don't drink.
Seinfeld: Nobody's perfect.
(Jesus sees something and starts running)
Jesus: Ahhhh! Floor tiles!!!!!!!! Yippee!!!!!
Pope: Ed... get the rope.
(a few minutes later, Jesus is talking to a Home Depot associate)
Jesus: So, you are saying that by using pine I could make a cross 5 times sturdier? Awesome! Cause the one I saw last was very poorly made. Stupid Romans.
Employee: Coo.
(the rest of the big 5 join up with the Savior)
Ed: What do you have there, Jesus?
Jesus: Well, I'm re-doing the apartment. Everything in wood. And with levels.
Pope: Where do you live again?
Jesus: On a hill far away Apartments.
Kent: Right on.
Seinfeld: Can we leave now? I have a gig later. I've never heard of the place I'm performing at...... it's called Baptist Student Union........ oh no.
(Everybody snickers under their breathe)
Seinfeld: Shut up. Let's go. How do we get out of here anyway?
Jesus: I know the way. Follow me.
Pope: What did He say?
Kent: Go with God.
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Well, I hope I didn't offend anybody. If I did, then you need to loosen up.
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Until next time, vaya con Dios.