Pie hoe

Somebody ate my pie.

There is this so-called unwritten rule that any unmarked and unlabeled food in the fridge is available for anyone to eat. I guess this means that the 10 commandments are not applicable in kitchen areas. So, when somebody has an $80 pie in there, it is okay to eat about $30 worth without asking. What next? Can anybody murder in or near the refridgerator? How would this go down in a court of law?

The judge: Sir, your client has been accused of murder. The victim was stabbed 70 times in the chest, raped 6 times, and the body was used as a protective cocoon of slaughtered human affluence. What do you say to this?
The Lawyer: Sir, I can explain. You see, this all is true, but it happened in the kitchen, next to the Frigidaire.
The judge: Oh! Why didn't you say something? Not guilty! Cased closed. This court is adjourned.

I left a sign on the fridge with this exact saying:

Good Rule of To abide by....
IF IT'S NOT YOURS, DON'T EAT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guess the refrigerator isn't a democracy, it's anarchy. I hope the $30 worth of pie you had rots inside of you and causes weeks of discomfort in your abdomen. I hope flaming turds emits from your rectum for years to come. Yes, maybe I should have put my name on it to "officially" claim it as mine, but that DOES NOT give you the right to consume what is not yours. You know what that is called? Stealing. I hope your conscience allows you to sleep at night. I'll be sleeping just fine, don't worry. Oh, and if you are going to steal other another person's food, at least throw away the evidence for God's sake. I mean the trash can was less that one foot away from where you left it. This means you are lazy as well as a thief. God Bless.

Can you tell that I was aggravated? Well, I was. You see, for one thing, it was really good pie. Another thing is not the fact that they ate something, but the fact that they ate something that didn't belong to them. Like I said in the sign, that's stealing.

Oh well, maybe God will humor me by allowing the whole flaming turds thing. That would be funny.

Anyway, I'll leave you will two thing to ponder. Until next time, vaya con Dios.

Does Supermans mom wrap his presents?

Have common sense. Don't fry bacon naked.