Pride (In the name of me?)

I remember a year or two ago when blogging was all the rage. Now, people are too busy watching youtube or texting on their iPhone. In my case, life got in the way.

Growing up is never easy. If you think it is, then you probably aren't "growing up" at all. When I first found out that I got the job I now have, I thought to myself, "Self, it is time to start growing up." I've been in the workforce for a year and a half and I've realized that I operate in two modes: work-me and normal-me.

Work-me is calm and somewhat professional. Sure, I like to lighten the mood in my class environment. But I don't let them do as they please. I can be demanding but I let them make their own choices. If they choose to not do an assignment, I will let them. But I always tell them that they have to live with the choices they make and accept the consequences.

Normal-me is almost completely different. I act immature most of the time. Doing as I please. I let others influence how I conduct my personal affairs. My demeanor changes. You could never guess that I was a teacher... that I was an example to a younger generation.

I think the problem is that when I started working, it was a fresh start in a new environment. It was a different story with different characters. I would occasionally put that book down and pick up the old one that I carried around for 20 some-odd years. Why is it so easy to change who you are with a new set of people and then go back to the same person you've always been?

I've been in a funk here of late. And I'm referring mostly to a spiritual funk. Call it laziness, call it what you will. It may be a lack of focus and priorities. Probably all of the above. I'm letting other things get in my way. Happiness isn't what we buy... thank goodness.

I haven't been giving it over. Trying to do things on my own. I need help, but never will I ask for it. As much as I hate pride in others, I sure do have plenty of my own.

Until next time, vaya con Dios.